Butter fingers!

I was talking to my hubs and I had noted that the milk kefir did better with the Ronnybrook creamline milk that was only pasteurized, than with the regular store bought milk that was homogenized and pasteurized, so he brought me a present.  My darling husband came home with a gallon of local Jersey cow RAW milk.  Unfortunately, I also had just made my kefir, so I had to wait 48 hours (more on THAT knowledge later!) before I could mess with it.

I went to make my kefir up today, pouring all the cream off since it makes it a little harder for the kefir to process.  I was staring at my counter and thought "honestly, what can I do with that cream?  I don't have a churn or anything and I don't put milk in my tea most of the time, never mind cream."  A quick search yielded an answer:  Butta baby!  Shake shake shake.  Shake shake shake, shake your butter!  For at least 15 minutes. I used a smaller bottle so I didn't kill my arms but that meant I was at it for over an hour.  My result?
2ish quarts of skimmed off milk, 2 ish quarts of buttermilk (husband makes some freaking KILLER buttermilk pancakes.) and a container of butter.  This might be repeated weekly, or even biweekly if it makes superior kefir.

Now, the TIME your kefir ferments for apparently has a huge impact on your gut happiness.  If you ferment for only 24 hours, it has a milk laxative effect.  48 and it balances, and 72 and it will help bind you up.  Keep this in mind when you ferment!

Root-fir

I had decided that I didn't want to give up root beer entirely, but I couldn't justify the amount of sugar and fizz, so I got some of that awesome Sodastream concentrate, but the new "all natural" kind, since I abhor the taste of Splenda.  Oh, dear.  I might be hooked.  48 hours sitting using sugar in the raw as my sugar, and with 1/2 an eggshell in to provide the minerals my little factory, erm, grains, needed and BAM!  Have some awesomely carbonated water kefir.  Pour into re-purposed glass bottles, add the root beer, and let sit for 12-24 hours (not more, or they may pop, they're THAT fizzy!) then refrigerate.  Pop a top and enjoy.  Even the husband is enjoying it!

One major problem though.  My grains are trying to imitate rabbits.  First batch had 1/4c, it doubled.  I gave away 1/4c to my mom two days ago.  When I poured out my TWO  1-quart glasses, I had a cup, A CUP, of grains.   If you're local, you're welcome to some.  I'll GIVE em to you, because presently, I'll be neck deep in grains.

Side note:  My milk kefir arrived today, so I will be working on that, but apparently, it takes 3 cycles of 48 hours for it to bounce back.  What I'm supposed to do with the "discard" milk, I dunno, but I'm thinking "here puppies!" I've been told that kefir makes beautiful coats, easy shedding, as well as helping dogs with less than ideal digestion.  I've got one of them, so lets see how that works.

Kinda begs the question of can I give the water kefir to the horses and save copious quantities of money on probiotics and coat conditioners?  Le gasp!

Some like it hot(ter)

I did some more reading about Kombucha cultures, and I have discovered I'm a dope.  I try my damnedest to keep my fermenting closet between 65-75, since higher is bad for yeast.  APPARENTLY, Kombucha cultures like it hot by comparison.  80*F is a happy culture medium.  74-85 is the optimum range.  That would explain why, when the dryer was running all day and I had the fan on the lower levels, the Kombucha went nuts and grew very obviously overnight.  We're kind of stuck this morning since I moved it to a cooler area.  Lesson LEARNED.  Some just like it hotter.

Demented Fermenting

I got it in my head to document my fermenting ride.  Partly cause I type faster than I can write, and half the time my writing is illegible, but also because some other person might find it useful.

I should explain:  I'm a "beaten path?  What the hell for?  Lets BLAZE BABY!" kind of person.  I live out in the middle of nowhere, it takes forever to get to a shop, and even longer to remember what I went for.

So one day, I buy some kombucha.  Yeah, I can hear it.  "what the hell is that?"  Essentially, it's a drink made from a symbiosis of bacteria and yeast.  Probiotics galore.  Vaguely reminiscent of bottled carbonated drinks.  However, I gagged at the price tag.  A whopping $4.99 at the local.  Holy cost batman!  Being the kind of "I wonder if I could do that?" kinda girl I am, I look it up.  Making my own at home should be easy tea-sy.  Har-har.  I'm also a kind of tea junkie so when I found out you make it with tea and sugar and a simple culture, I was a little confused where the tag came from, but I also looked at the directions and said "WHICH KIND?!"  There are so many!  No word of a lie, I have easily 40 different tea types in my brewing station.

Clever clogs here got a SCOBY (that's what the starter culture is called) and took to making my first batch, which I started on Wednesday, using fanciest formosa oolong (just on the off chance you cared!) some sugar in the raw, apple cider vinegar and a bottle of expensive and plain kombucha from the store.  I can happily say that, sitting in my fermenting closet, I've started to see my Kombucha Mother forming a baby, so my tea should be ready in the next day or so.  Yeah baby!

I also got it into my head that if I'm going to be sucking down healthy fermentations, that I should try OTHER easy fermentations.  I have some water and milk kefir grains on their way to my home, should be here by Wednesday.  I've been drinking kefir drinks for a while without realizing how amazingly good they are for me.  When I had to fight the short one for some, I knew I needed to make some of that, too.

Since one usually thinks "alcoholic" when one thinks "that's fermented" I should explain that I also have some beautiful strawberry mint mead brewing in the bottom part of my fermenting closet.  I drink mead.  I'm not a big fan of other alcohols, but damn if I don't love me some fermented honey.  I'm just a little sick of having to special order the stuff out here.

So, here's to my fermented journey.  May it be fruitful, fizzy, explosion free, and always tasty.  If you are keen to follow along, I spill recipes as I make them, pictures as and when appropriate, and I might prattle on for a while about ALL my ferments.  Like my sauerkraut.  Oh, and PICKLES this week.